4/3/2019
A day in the life of a single mom (parenting solo 97.9%):
Alarm went off at 6:15a and began with trudging to bedrooms to turn on lights and yell for the kids downstairs “are you up? Hello? Get moving!” Just remembered I can’t postpone my shower today because I have an 8:30am in-person meeting and even if I was inspired (yeah, right), I wouldn’t have time to get in a work out this morning (awe, shucks). Quickly shower, yell orders on breakfast, realize the kids who have lost their school lunch privileges (because of over-consumption on junk) didn’t pack their lunches the night before and since not eating anything in the middle of the day might get me in trouble, I’m helping them shove sandwich materials (not in sandwich form) into baggies. (If it was 1977, I would have told them to stuff it themselves or don’t eat, but heaven-forbid, it’s 2019 – I might go to jail.) Have a 30-45 second argument with my 4th grader with new braces, on why she can’t bite into a full apple even if she wanted to and get that packet of applesauce out of the pantry NOW, so help me, child, move your butt! I win. I always win. I pay the bills and I’m the mom. I’ll always win. Get to the car! 7:03, I’m in the car, we’re late, we’ll be fine, but where’s the 9th Grader? 7:05 finally off to the bus stops, 2 kids on their buses, the 7th grader’s asleep in the back seat (I think he’s growing), gently yell to him that “we’re here – get out and love you. Have a great day. Bye”
By 7:40 I’m back home with a few minutes to try to repair my face before my meeting and get a couple of paragraphs written on a home study sheet for foster licensing. Run out the door for meeting, have 2 more online meetings (thank goodness for the internet and a work-at-home mostly job!). Enjoy a break while a dear friend brings lunch (this isn’t usual, but I’m so thankful for this chance to take a break, talk, and eat a yummy salad) – Have more meetings that culminate in tripling my to-do lists, write a press release blurb for a new product release and then go to get two kids at their bus stop. Call my friend, while I’m driving in the car, to discuss carpooling to youth group tonight and we both realize there’s too many pieces to the carpooling puzzle – we’ll need to do it alone tonight. Bring 2 kids home and barely remember one kid has a dentist appt. In 20 minutes. Grab my laptop to check emails while she’s in the room – dang – I have no idea what the dentist asked me to do for follow-up, I was thinking about an email response I needed to make. I think I scheduled appts. For all 3 kids in the fall, that I’ll probably have to move because everything will change by then.
Get home and decide to pre-wash the asparagus so it can dry while I work on my growing inbox and as I’m washing the veggies, in walks the 3rd kid from school and I think, gosh, I’m so glad that bus is reliable because I forgot he wasn’t home. Hop back on the computer to tame the inbox beast and get a few more assignments checked off. Boom! I’m a rock-star!
*($#@! – there’s an email from my ex- he wants to challenge me on expenses for the kids’ activities. I.e. – he doesn’t want them to go to camp this summer. No can do, fella. Our decree clearly states that we are to plan for these things and keep their schedules as normal as possible. Trying to be sensible and diplomatic in a reply, but I really need to get dinner going, because … NEWS FLASH … I’m doing this parenting thing alone! Don’t have time for you.
Throw some asparagus in for a stir-fry (glad I chose a healthy dinner night to record) with some bacon and butter (well, there goes my boast) and pull out other leftovers, and in 20 min., dinner’s ready! Call the troops, everyone dishes up, we sit down and five minutes later, the boy and I need to leave our half-filled dinner plates on the table in order to get to youth group on time. See ya! Drop the boy off, get a text from an aggressive ex and have a little cry in the parking lot before heading home. As I’m heading home, I think, man, I need to record my days. I don’t want to forget this. This is hard. Really hard. And I want to be compassionate to other moms my whole life long – and Lord, I pray this hard time doesn’t last, but I don’t want to forget what it means to be IN IT. IN. IT. In the hardest, most painful and most blessed and cherished time with children whom you’ve shared with me. I want to remember it all. I don’t want to dilute the pain as we so often do after time has passed.
As I drive home, I think ok, now when you walk in the door, sit down and write it out. Don’t get distracted by all that you see you need to do when you get in there. I’m getting close to home and I see my neighbor throwing a football to his 7 yr. Old son. I wave. They wave. And the tears come. I’m happy for him, and sad for my boy. Don’t forget it. Walked in the door and saw my plate – gobbled it up and then put the rest of the food away, still need to do dishes, but I’m going to write this out. I need to leave in a few minutes and take my oldest to youth group, pick up the middle one, get the youngest to bed, finish the dishes, finish up some work for my job (you know, the one that pays the bills) and eventually, I hope to get to bed. My cold, empty bed. Hopefully I’ll have a few minutes to watch a show and numb the pain. Can’t think about it. Gotta go now; she’s waiting to go to youth group.
Should I make this my Christmas letter?
*Please note: I didn’t write this for sympathy. I write this to remember. To not candy coat it later on. To have empathy and compassion for others who live this much more valiantly than I do. There are a billion things I’m grateful for – I’m not complaining. This is just what it is like.
Remember, this day did not include a myriad of other, regular occurrences in our household, like:
- Teaching my 15 yr. Old to drive (I screamed. I’m ashamed.)
- School conferences (I’ve given up – I can’t be in 3 different schools in one afternoon)
- Sports events/activities for each child (I’ve heard we’ll be able to teleport in a few years)
- Concerts (OMG – there are so MANY concerts! And I love them. And they are time-consuming.)
- Doctors, Orthodontists, Allergists, etc. (so MANY appointments)
- Ice Dams (I’m trying to let it go)
- Regular date nights with each child (oh, these are soooo good!)
- Garbage night
- Laundry Day
- Crisis’ Intervention – all sorts of drama happens at school and with friends.
I’m tired.
Parenting Solo 